Dear Transition...

I wear my heart on my sleeve. A lot of times I see that as a curse, but in this season of transition I realize it's a blessing. I'm thankful that I am in a community that embraces my shaky voice as I express myself with tears ready to roll down my face and streams of snot ready to be wiped away. In this community, I've been encouraged with conversation, togetherness, and space to explore my heart and try to understand why transition is difficult.

I've concluded recently that a lot of coffee, slow and thoughtful conversations, team dinners, ice cream and cookies will help with this transition. I've also written a letter to transition and it goes like this...

Dear Transition,

You smell like rain.

You taste like a cold crisp cup of filtered water.

You sound like the crackling of the coffee pot brewing good coffee in the morning.

You look ambiguous, unplanned, but hopeful.

You feel like a pair of new sandals.

Love, Red

But this letter keeps changing day by day...

Dear Transition,

You smell like dirt.

You taste like SunnyD.

You sound like loud voices too early in the morning or too late at night.

You look like a spider.

You feel like an itchy wool sweater.

Sincerely,Red

So, the most consistent thing in transition is....God's promises for my life. Throughout my life, Christ has revealed again and again that the plans He has for me is hopeful and full of good things. I've learned that the good things don't always mean fun. In fact, this year in community has revealed that good also means challenging, mundane, and painful. It is in this challenging, mundane, and painful blended with fun that growth happens.

A lot of growth has happened in the past 11 months. As I prepare to clearly articulate my goodbyes and write my "you've helped me grow in these ways..." notes, I realize that I possibly have overlooked the impact that my commitment alone has had on my community. I've simply drawn this conclusion from the ways in which my team's commitment alone has impacted me. The end means we did our best, we stayed even when we wanted to run away, and we grew together.

The end also makes me know that God is real - because how in the world would 6 random and unlikely people be united and committed to love and serve one another?

Embracing change is very difficult when it means embracing the end of something really good that went way too fast. In this embrace, I have a growing fear of the pain in saying see you later to friends and neighbors, not knowing when that later will come around. In this embrace, I have a growing hope of a future not my own; a future filled with more growth not for my sake, but for God's great purposes I trust in, but don't always fully understand.

What lessons are you learning or have you learned when you've made a big transition in life? What's helped you embrace transition?