Neighboring Is...

Neighboring is worth it.

Neighboring is worth it, but it is not easy.

Last year on Francis Street, neighboring was “easier.” But then again, it is always easier to look back and think of our past in an idealistic way. We lived in a neighborhood where many kids would ride their bikes through our yard, people would stop by to look at our garden, or watch us as we pushed the kids on the tire swing that the guys put up. Looking back, it seemed that neighbors were always available and in the neighborhood when it was most convenient for us and our schedule (so ideal, right?).

I’ve sat with this idea of neighboring for a couple of weeks – especially as I begin to reflect back on my first year experience - and wrestle through the differences we face in neighboring this year. 

This year, we live in an apartment complex owned by one of our service sites, Fifth Ward CRC. It’s not too often that we see families sitting outside on the porch, kids riding their bikes, and so forth. Every day we walk by several guys who sit under the tree or by the corner store. A couple blocks down the street, there is a water park and playground where we’ve met a couple of kids. My team walks to their service site every day and our church is walking distance as well. We are in the neighborhood every day, yet we’ve also struggled to build deeper relationships with those we see throughout the week.

Neighboring is not easy.

I’ve come to recognize that the act of neighboring is not easy. I can do all of the above and walk through the neighborhood every day and not really get to know people. I guess if you replace neighboring with relationships, we would all agree that relationships take a lot of work. So, when Jesus asked me to love my neighbors, I strongly believe that I'm not being asked to do something - but that I become someone who just loves people. It only gets complicated when I make it complicated and try to dissect what it means and how I should do this and....

This loving people thing? Yes, it requires a lot of giving and receiving. Yes, it would be a lot easier if everyone in our neighborhood were doing Mission Year (another idealistic statement...). But, I think there is a discipline that we are learning as we walk around the neighborhood for hours on Saturday trying to be present and available for those relationships. It isn’t guaranteed that I’ll meet the entire block and have story after story on my blog of neighbors who’ve changed our lives. But, I think what is guaranteed is that as I continue to pursue the call I feel towards building relationships with great love, I’ll be changed.

 Neighboring (Relationships) requires making choices.

We have to choose to be present in the neighborhood. It may seem like a given in Mission Year, that being in the neighborhood comes easily for all of us who commit to being here. It doesn’t. It is my second year with Mission Year and I don’t have it all figured out. All I know is that I’ve come to the point where I desire to know the people that live in my neighborhood and I don’t desire to be a stranger to them or them to me.

Choosing to stop, be present and seek relationships with neighbors has been the most rewarding thing. God has shown me ways in which we are learning what it means to be a good neighbor and to allow our neighbors to be neighbors to us.

For example, the other day as I was taking out the trash, Mr. Bryan saw me struggle with the cup of water in one hand. Instead of just saying hello, he told me that he’ll take care of it and walked to open the dumpster for me. That wasn’t just a kind gesture that was an act of kindness from a good neighbor. I strongly believe that after the several months I’ve seen Mr. Bryan, this happened because I took the time a couple weeks ago to stop in my hurried state and shake his hand and introduce myself to him.

And there are several other examples in which my housemates are revealing that neighboring doesn’t have boundaries…Tarrin always sits with Ms. A in church. Kira is responsible for helping coordinate Feed the Hungry – where she interacts with a lot of our neighbors and has built relationships with them. Heather goes and picks up the kids in the neighborhood so they can attend youth group. Charlie has been teaching lessons at youth group. Caleb sits with the men in our neighborhood and has gotten to know them more. Taylor loves on the dogs in our neighborhood, which is noticeable and admired by a lot of the neighbors who love these stray dogs as well.

So, in my opinion, we’re neighboring…and you probably are too. But the one thing that we must never loose is that intentionality within our relationships. It looks different for all of us. It’ll look different for me once again after this year. The most important thing I’m learning to do is let go of expectations and just pursue relationships intentionally and in a way that restores my view of love and relationships.

Remember, there is no failing when you pursue relationships.

It'll be messy. It has to be messy. Let it be messy. Messy is not failing, it is a sign of the growth that is happening as you pursue loving people.